Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Depression 2.0

Next is when I was 17. I've never told this to anyone. Perkara ni berlaku masa awal start sekolah. Im not going to tell you the cause of my depression but masa tu aku kemurungan yang terok. I remembered my teacher approach me and asked "Kenapa awak nampak sedih sangat?" then I was trying to hide my pain from her with a forced smile. I can't even focus on class. I tend to skip school. Masa tu aku rasa sunyi. Aku rasa aku dah takde orang lain. I’ve no friend. Nobody. I cried a lot every single night. Trying to comfort myself and tell myself that Im not alone. But I can't. The pain inside me is getting worse. Setiap hari pujuk diri sendiri cuba untuk bertahan, sekejap je. Sikit lagi nak habis sekolah. I take a few months to recover from the pain. I didn’t tell anyone even my close friends because they might think Im a crybaby. So I hold this pain for a few months. You know what? Aku boleh recover from this bullshit is when one on my friend approach me. Alhamdullilah. Im living my live happily.

Please guys. Depression is not a joke. It can change people from a happy person to a moody. Please. I’ve experienced it. I know very well how it feel.  Even its hurts to just remember it.